Choosing the site:
Figure out what you want. Racial or Religious sites, Plus-Size or BBW sites all very popular and heavily advertised sites. There are literally hundreds of dating sites to choose from. You can choose to be on more than one. When you are searching skim some of the profiles to see what the men and the women are saying if you can. What they are looking for. I’d choose clean healthy looking sites with good photos and well written profiles.
Profile Photo’s:
Keep your clothes on please!
You should always have a couple pictures of yourself to maximize your exposure and your search ability. Don’t upload extremely sexual pictures ie: naked or half naked pictures of yourself you may attract the wrong type of men but of course if that is what you want by all means Do You!...I don't judge! Ok, you should have 1 good face photo with a great smile. 1 full body shot so people truly see what you look like and make sure they are recent and you still look that way.. Then if the system allows a couple more pictures. Add fun (in good taste) photos.
My Profile:
We all hate writing out the dreadful profile. Don’t we all wish we had an editor to make us sound like the best thing since hmmmm the cell phone? Well most of us don’t so we try to be cleaver and funny. What do I say about myself that doesn’t make me sound like a loser or a pompous ass. Even I admit it is hard. Be honest and true that would be my suggestion. State the type of relationship and man you are truly looking for. Along with things you really enjoy doing. Listen, don’t worry about scaring a him away. He is out there and you may or may not find him via online dating at least you know that you have put your best YOU out there! As scary as that might be…
When choosing your handle name be careful not to use something that is to sexual or un inviting. Fun, cute and sweet are always winners. Be honest 1st and foremost about what you are looking for, who you are and the type of man you want to meet and have in your life. The type of relationship you’re looking for is important as well. Don’t tell your whole life but hit the key points. Note your interest so that when men are looking they having an idea if there maybe some compatibility. If you have a preference that is your prerogative so be sure to note it. Be it Race, Religion, Politics; Age whatever it is be sure to mention it in your profile. Try to keep it short and too the point. If you don’t want to play games of course men don’t listen but you can note it and don’t be afraid you will scare a man off. They don’t scare easily and if they are truly interested and intrigued they will email you or respond to an email that you have sent and you can see where it goes from there.
To IM Chat or not to Chat?
The new thing to do now is chat. It does not work for me as I am not on the computer all the time but I have chatted and found that I am not a big fan, but if it works for you awesome.
Be careful of the conversation make sure you guide it where you want it to go. A lot of the times men will ask things they would never ask you in person if it were their 1st time meeting you:
What’s your breast size? Do you like anal sex? How many men have you slept with? What’s your favorite position? Are your domme or submissive? Do you enjoy oral sex?
Ah Yes…. The list goes on and on…it is true I have been asked all of these questions and more. If these questions come up anywhere in your 1st conversation you need to let him go. Don’t be afraid to just say “I am sure you’re a cool guy just not the cool guy for me” and wish him good luck and log off of the chat and block him if you have to. Now if you are into that kinda thing again, Do You!
You can email via the sites or give out your personal email if you’d like. I don’t even mind giving out my number and talking to men to figure out if we maybe have a good chemistry and if we should meet or not. Either way you decide to communicate make sure that you feel comfortable and if you get a weird feeling about someone or the conversation just let it go. If you have a picture and they don’t, ask for one. After all they know what you look like right? You should know what the man looks like before any physical meetings. Don’t be afraid to say what you are looking for and turn someone away if they don’t fit what you are looking for. Ultimately your gut feeling is the right feeling.
Where 2 meet?
Set up something like coffee or coco, ice cream or jamba juice, or your favorite yogurt bar something light and open in public. You should never invite someone you've never met to your home. Always let your BFF or a family member know a little bit about the person or where you will be. Think SAFTEY. If your feeling daring, go for cocktails at a nice restaurant bar with low noise volume where you can talk and get know one another. These are quick and simple first meetings just to give you a since of the person and if there is chemistry.
This gives you time to really talk and get to know one another and see how the conversation goes.
This way if you didn’t hit it off, there is no love loss and if you are both interested you will set up the next date before your meeting ends.
When I meet him?
Do I shake his hand, kiss him on the cheek, give him a hug? Listen do whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you have talked a lot it’s more than likely a kiss on the cheek from him or a hug will be what you get.
What do I wear?
Something you won’t regret. Something sensible with a hint of sexy. Ask yourself once you are dressed would you feel comfortable meeting his mom in that outfit? Ultimately try to wear something that will make you look your best but also make you feel comfortable and relaxed. Also be sure to dress for the location, try hard not to over or under dress.
What do I say?
I like to let the conversation flow and be as relaxed as possible. Keep in mind it is the first meeting and you may both do or say something silly because you are nervous. But this is a good time to establish what you are both interested in and figure out if you have any chemistry at all. That 1st meeting can be like the first time you have sex with someone AWKARD… so it may take 1 or 2 more meetings to figure out if the guy is even worth it. Try not to treat it like an interview. Keep it light, find out what things you may have in common movies, music, books, travel etc. Don't make it all about you be a good listner as well.
The end of the 1st Meeting?
If they are interested most men will try to set up the 2nd meeting or real 1st date right then and there so you don’t have to think about what’s next. The bottom line is end with whatever makes you feel comfortable. A kiss, a hug, shake hands, thanks but no thanks…whatever works for you.
Ultimately online dating can be fun and frustrating at the same time. If someone takes the time to send you a message, you should be courteous and respond if you are interested and if not let them know that you are flattered but are not interested and wish them the best of luck in their search for love and happiness.
Online dating has its ups and downs. You will meet someone that you feel you totally match and you have great chemistry only to find he doesn’t feel the same. Its okay don’t force it. You will meet totally jerks that only want sex or just to toy with your heart. That’s okay it’s all apart of search for love and happiness online. Men will be men on the internet, at the bar, in the grocery store or book store. No matter where you meet them.
Be honest with yourself and you wont go wrong. But be smart about it, when in doubt you can always refer back to “he’s just not that into you”. It is difficult to put yourself out there even more so for us "RealSize" gals. Getting rejected or having to reject someone... guess what it is called DATING…Grrrrr
Single & Looking..
Let your friends and family know that you are single and if they know someone that might connect with you that it's okay to make it happen.
Dammit I am still single but we won’t go there…
FUNNY...Here is a Real Profile from a guy that was interested in me when I was dating online...
username: bigntastynhary (okay there are soooo many things wrong with that)
30yrs
His Profile: "I likee short dark women that are from the east side with that city accent. i dont mind childrens. i have a big heart to and a big wallet, i can take care of yours. so hit me up. i also like the taco trucks."
REALLY?...SERIOUSLY... not gonna happen but I thought you might enjoy a good laugh. Even if he was trying to be funny I just did not get it. Needless to say I responded to him with an "I'm flattered however I don't believe we are compatible. Good luck in your search for love and happiness" response. Now he could have been the man of my dreams but again 1st impressions make lasting impressions eh!
I Wish You L O V E……
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Online Dating
Still Single & Looking…What the HELL, when is it gonna Happen?
Okay I have been set up by friends, met men everywhere from the bar, movies, to Kinko’s and I am still single…What gives? I know he is out there guess we are just on broken roads.
I have dated more than any of my friends this is true. Some of them are in terrific relationships totally in LOVE and I am totally happy for them…BITCHES…just kidding I really am happy for them because I know that feeling and how wonderful it can be. However for those of us in the dating rat race and still looking, what a rat race it is.
Now down to the nitty gritty…ON Line Dating…is it a dirty word? Not anymore… Many of us lead busy lives or we don’t get out and socialize like we used to. We do have time to get online while watching our favorite shows on the tele though eh?
This brings me to online dating. Which is no longer taboo, thank goodness. I do online dating and to tell you the truth it has gotten much better and so have the quality of men and women. Oh don’t get me wrong there is still plenty of smut going on but you can weed through that or that type of person pretty quickly.
For the most part 90% of my online dating experiences have gone really well. Have they all turned into LOVE? Well, no but I have had some great boyfriends and plenty of fun and most of all totally know what I want out of a true relationship. I can’t speak for everyone but I am going to try to give you some helpful tips for online dating.
Please, Please, Please remember to Love and Respect yourself first. You don't have to settle for anything or anyone just because your Plus-Sized, so don't!
It’s already hard dating but when your plus size the difficulty some times doubles no pun intended. You profile is your truest 1st impression when dating online.
"You never get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression." That is the saying but when dating online you actually do. You will answer or respond to a profile, maybe chat or email and if you are brave or just old school like me, you might actually talk on the phone and then there is the meeting. See, several chances to make a first impression however your profile and all that it intails sets the tone for the rest of the encounters.
Now many of you are looking for different things, some like myself would like to find a true and honest monogamist relationship with a friend and lover that I can share my life with. Others want to play and have fun. There is nothing wrong with either as far as I am concerned the most important thing is that you are safe and make informed decisions and you are ready to deal with the consequences of the decisions you’ve made.
Everyone has there own opinions of what love may be to them. The only thing that I know for sure is that when you are in love when it, feels right go for it enjoy it for as long as it last. Is it true? That saying “It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all?” Only you will know!
My tips are based on my experiences and are not the LAW. I hope they will help you in your search and give you a little info on what to expect from Online dating!
